Get the latest on my writing, comedy, performance art, and other craziness!

Two Performance Artists book by Scotch Wichmann
Two Performance Artists Kidnap Their Boss And Do Things With Him
Inspired by my crazy adventures as a performer on the road, this is the story of two performance artists who cook up the ultimate performance: to kidnap their billionaire boss...and turn him into the wildest performance artist the world's ever seen.

scotch wichmann sticker
Blog Biography Performance Art Audio/Video Stage, Radio, & TV Writing Press Kit, Bio, & Photos Calendar Contact

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


Monday, May 4th, 2020

Yes, I am slowly losing my mind….haha. #quarantine

Thanks, Gatsby Books!

Friday, April 18th, 2014

Had a blast at Gatsby Books in Long Beach last night talking about Two Performance Artists, performance art, creativity, and of course, the topic that lives on, Shia LaBeouf and his plagiarizing ways. Thanks to Gatsby owner Sean Moor and his furry sidekick Ruby for putting on a really fun event. If you’re in Long Beach, help support indie bookstores like this one!

Ruby waiting for Scotch Wichmann to begin reading
Scotch Wichmann with Gatsby Books owner Sean Moor in Long Beach
Scotch Wichmann reading at Gatsby Books in Long Beach

Performance Art This Friday

Sunday, June 2nd, 2013

Calling Ventura art fans! What do tequila and my tighty white underwear have in common? Find out when I perform MANLY MAN, a short new performance art piece at the Sylvia White Gallery this Friday downtown! Plus see John White and other killer performers do their thing! FREE at The 5x5x5 Show, Sylvia White Gallery, 1783 E. Main St., Ventura, 8PM sharp. See you there!

You Sure These Guys Aren’t From Fresno?

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

I’m in love with die Antwoord. And I think I want that chick’s haircut.

The Best of My Worst iPad Jokes

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Did you see the pic of Jobs with the iPad between his legs?

Frat boys are already planning iPaddy raids.

Somebody should make a carrying case called The Douchebag.

First-time iPad users were overheard saying, “Dammit, why can’t I reboot this bloody computer?”

Swine Flu

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Ackbar! The Star Wars Talk Show

Friday, January 30th, 2009

The Skywalkers are the trashiest family in the galaxy.

Hair Tattoo

Sunday, December 14th, 2008

Made from one Sharpie Ultra Fine Point permanent marker in black, my left arm (fist still attached), one whoopsy I lost count of the tequila shotz, and three unforgettable minutes.