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Two Performance Artists book by Scotch Wichmann
Two Performance Artists Kidnap Their Boss And Do Things With Him
Inspired by my crazy adventures as a performer on the road, this is the story of two performance artists who cook up the ultimate performance: to kidnap their billionaire boss...and turn him into the wildest performance artist the world's ever seen.

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Charlie Manson Explains Who He Is
March 31, 2009 8:23 am

I was surprised that I laughed when I watched this. Manson has a fine sense of timing as a lay actor, and a great sense of humor/irony, which together betray an obvious understanding of psychology and human behavior. In those terms, he is very much a shadow comedian, the comic’s evil twin, a real flesh and blood Joker who knows how to manipulate, shock, or even get laughs with a well-delivered punch that tells ironic truths…even as it’s breaking your ribs.

Each punch carries a double meaning; the faces he makes are a calculated critique of America’s media circus and its fascination with deconstructing him—but then—we remember what he is famous for, and so then comes the second meaning: a megalomaniac killer showing off—showing us he is unknowable because he is insane—a superficial act that plays the very circus he is simultaneously critiquing. For a moment we *think* we know him because he’s familiar…he’s been on TV…but then we witness just how at ease he is with what he is…a monster, there, sitting in his chair…then suddenly lunging forward. All hit at the same time. A “real” comedian playing for a paying audience couldn’t pull this off—not even close. Any subtle monsteresque threat a comic could muster would dissipate in the safety of the distance from the stage to the seats. After all, who really fears being murdered during a comedy show? (Ok, maybe the comic—ha). It would be Grand Guignol at best. It’s macabre to say it, but Manson manages to achieve a complex moment of comedy here that few others could…or would…or, shit, should.

Filed under Comedy, Psycho, Weird | 15 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Interview with Patton Oswalt
March 20, 2009 9:18 pm


Here.

Filed under Comedy | 5 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Like a Desert in My Mouth
March 15, 2009 8:33 am

Filed under Funny, Torture | 4 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Retarded Policeman
March 7, 2009 3:08 pm

Filed under Funny, Torture | 24 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Build Your Own Aircraft…With Flies
February 26, 2009 1:24 pm

Click to zoom in.

Filed under Funny, Torture, Weird | 2 Comments | Permalink
 
 
I Am An Idiot
February 19, 2009 10:29 am

Last night I was competing in the Rooster T. Feathers comedy competition in Sunnyvale. Go if you can. The club is old school (reminded me of Hollywood’s Comedy Store) — warm, pro, and one of the friendliest I’ve seen.

While waiting for the show to start, I saw Larry “Bubbles” Brown walking around — hilarious, been on Letterman, etc. I overheard somebody say he was headlining.

Later, a friend asked me who was headlining, so I said, “Larry Bubbles Brown.”

“No, I am headlining,” said a man next to me. I looked at him, but didn’t recognize him. I later found out he was Dan St. Paul — Comedy Central, MTV, opened for Seinfeld, did a movie with Robin Williams….

But I didn’t know this. So of course, being an idiot, I said:

……..“And who are you?”

He belly laughed and grimaced painfully.

Because I am an idiot.

Let this be a lesson.

Filed under Comedy, Confessions, Funny | 4 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Ackbar! The Star Wars Talk Show
January 30, 2009 9:56 am


The Skywalkers are the trashiest family in the galaxy.

3 Comments | Permalink
 
 
Let’s Toast to Obama!
January 20, 2009 6:39 pm

Barack Toast
Available here.

Filed under Weird | 6 Comments | Permalink
 
 
25 Random Things About Me
January 13, 2009 12:49 pm

typing as fast as i can — no time for the shift key —

1. my nickname in elementary school was witchie-poo.

2. i’ve run 3 marathons; during my 2nd on the streets of L.A., two native americans blew past me barefoot at the 13th mile, their long black hair blowing in the wind. they were beautiful.

3. my father is a physician at a state hospital for the criminally insane. 

4. i performed magic shows at kids’ birthday parties as a teenager and dreamt of being the next doug henning, complete with his ’70s rainbow outfit.

5. three of the women i dated now prefer women.

6. a shaman once told me that she saw a knife sticking out of my back where i was stabbed in a previous life.

7. i have a 2nd degree black belt in uechi-ryu okinawan karate (we have crane moves, just like mr. miyagi!) and i broke two of my ribs fighting in full-contact, bare-knuckle bouts.

8. i’m a conspiracy theory addict. when i’m president, my first trip will be to area 51.

9. part of my family is from vik, a settlement in southwestern norway where some viking clans originated, and i have a DNA marker indicating viking ancestry.

10. i’m addicted to coffee.

11. i have a fetish for found action figures that have been marred or damaged, are missing limbs, etc.

12. i was a computer hacker as a teen, and almost got busted by a federal agency. several hacker friends landed up in jail.

13. i’ve had two full conscious out-of-body experiences while awake and sober.

14. i’d love to live in a barn.

15. i got my start as a performance artist in L.A. in the early ’90s, and once almost electrocuted myself with butter and 2 AC electrodes.

16. my brother and i used to dress up like batman and robin, make gasoline bombs out of coke cans, and throw razor-sharp ninja stars in our fresno backyard. we also had the hots at daycare for identical blonde sisters we called “the butter twins.”

17. i took french lessons weekly as an adult for 4 years and my accent still sucks.

18. i’ve seen the movie ishtar more times than any other movie. and elaine may is a genius.

19. once while walking around in my motorcycle armor at san francisco’s union street fair, i accidentally bumped then-SF-mayor gavin newsom with my padded shoulder. he stumbled back 3 feet, and his wife jennifer siebel laughed.

20. i like listening to crunchy/cut-up electronica or anything audio that sounds homemade. give me aphex twin, blevin blectum, matmos….

21. i’ve seen every episode of the dukes of hazzard, the greatest american hero, and twin peaks.

22. if i had to watch the film or TV work of only one director for the rest of my days, i’d probably choose david lynch.

23. i’m a bibliophile. i have more books by bukowski than by any other author. next in line would be joyce and faulkner.

24. my granny hacked the heads off of chickens with a hatchet on her farm in nebraska.

25. i wasn’t a vegetarian. then i was. and now i’m not.

Filed under Confessions | 6 Comments | Permalink
 
 
God Bless Public Access Television
December 24, 2008 4:43 pm



Filed under Funny, Performance art, Torture | 16 Comments | Permalink