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Two Performance Artists book by Scotch Wichmann
Two Performance Artists Kidnap Their Boss And Do Things With Him
Inspired by my crazy adventures as a performer on the road, this is the story of two performance artists who cook up the ultimate performance: to kidnap their billionaire boss...and turn him into the wildest performance artist the world's ever seen.

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Buy A Decorative Cover For Your Pet’s Anus

Available here.

If only they were scratch and sniff.  And too bad they’re not available for people—I know a few assholes that could use one.

5 Responses to “Buy A Decorative Cover For Your Pet’s Anus”

  1. Too Bad Says:

    Too bad the girl has blue eyes: cuz if she didn’t one could kinda say I want to fuck brown eyes and the dude you were talkin’ to would kinda scratch his head and wonder if you were talkin’ about the dogs asshole (brown eye) or the girl – if she had brown eyes. But since the girl has blue eyes you can’t create that type of double entente type o’ question.

    Shit, wasn’t there a song from the 70′s: “Don’t a make my brown eyes blue”?

  2. No Qualms Says:

    I would totally do the dog and the girl. That little Hawaiian Style Anus tag totally makes me want to fuck what’s behind it.

  3. That 70's trip Says:

    Yeah, that girl pimping the Alpo product looks like she could’ve been a double mint twin. I loved those commercials but the gum lost its flavor in 2 seconds like this dumb ass product that this girl is pimping.

    Shit, did that bitch not know what she was doing? I think it would be less humiliating if that girl tea bagged some big black hairy balls on red tube than doin’ this commercial. Her parents did not love her as a child.

  4. Confused Says:

    I don’t know if I want to stick my cock in the dog’s ass or in Double Mint gum girl’s mouth.

  5. Advertisement Today Says:

    This ad (fortunately) is pretty much trying to associate you (if you’re a hetero male or a bull dike with a strap on) doing something very anal to the nice fresh American young female who is pimping said animal anus artifact.

    Don’t buy the product: 1) it is useless and will propagate more germs to the human handler of said product and 2) you won’t get anal sex from the gal giving you the thumbs up within the ad.

    If you want to fantasize about you (the overweight 40 year old dude with man boobs) having hot anal sex with a nice young American hotty – without spending $5 plus shipping/handing for animal anal artifacts – go to and you’ll find plenty of purty faced young American Hottys who are maxed on their credit cards and are having to get pounded in the ass from every race and creed of a penis that exists on God’s green planet in order to pay them off. And those faces are sometimes cuter than the one in the advertisement flashing a thumbs up next to a dog’s asshole.

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