Jokes as old as Mexico itself.

A point from a wise ass:

Remember when Ray Romano was on Saturday Night Live and was playing an ESPN type sportscaster trying to use black lingo?

If you don’t then:

“Boo-Ya, sweet sassy Mollasy.”

See, this scene from SNL is so old as shit, I couldn’t even find it on you tube.

So take this hint and make a new post – BEATCH!

One more point: You should have sex with your significant other with that mask on. He or she may like it.

Changed the locks.

Now, what to do about this rock. Can I get my money back, or do I keep for my next fiance and just have it bent/reworked.

If I can’t get a full refund for the ring, perhaps I keep it. I don’t know. The ring has been purchased for more than a year. Fuck.

Well, at least I got my cheatin’ fiance out of my life. School’s out in a month and a half then it is sleep city, pot, and beer.

Maybe a few rub and tugs from from a vietnamese “massage” parlor.

Funny: I used to care about not getting arrested, because I could lose my teaching credential. Now, I just don’t give a fuck. If I get arrested for getting a tug from a vietnamese ho’ waxing me off and I get kicked out of teaching – you know what? – I could give a flying fuck.

I’ve got a new lease on life. I need a jerk off from a little petite vietnamese ho’ down in sleazy LA. too bad they don’t have any good one’s in the OC. Ah well. So I take an hour drive and maybe see if my 41 year old ass can’t get into the Viper room.

Well, Virginia Langley and I did meet. She’s not a porn star. You can check out IMDb to see any porn star’s name – psuedo or otherwise. But she wasn’t bad looking. To say that I didn’t pay for sex would be sort of a lie. I paid for sex indirectly because I paid for a room in the Bev. Hills Hotel, we ate in the Polo Lounge, I bought the weed and then we had sex 4 times in one night.

Was it everything I dreamed of? Truth be told: it was pretty, pretty, pretty, damn good to get my johnson waxed from someone who wasn’t a porn star but could fuck like one. Anyway, with a condom and a few beers in me I lasted quite well – even on round one. Rounds 2 through 4 were even better, because I lasted and she groaned like Jenna Jameson. We even fucked to porn. $19.99 per movie at these high scale hotels now, believe that shit?

I feel good, relaxed, and I’m gonna yank that rock off of that cunt of a fiance who cheated on me. My fiance is brain dead if she thinks by allowing me a revenge fuck will even the score or rebuild trust in a relationship that she broke egregiously.

From this experience with my new pseudo-porn friend, I really know what I don’t want. And if you read my last comment as Pink’s Floyd, you’ll see my fiance fucked an x-boyfriend in my bed. So, this is what I don’t want: I don’t want to rebuild trust that was so damaged and broken by her actions and then to wonder for the rest of our married lives whether she’d do it again just for kicks.

Plan in action: get my fiance drunk, fuck her one last time, and snag the rock while she sleeps, wake her up while she’s hung over and throw her the fuck out of my house.

Pay back is a bitch, but so was she for breaking my heart.

And I think conspiracy gibson is only a little wacky, because I think most of what he says has merit.

yeah, he sounds like a rambling paranoic, but that doesn’t mean that a paranoid rambler is necessarily wrong.

Keep rambling away conspiracy g. I hear ya.

Pinky I’m totally into your fantasy and am sorry that your fiance fucked you over by fucking an ex in your bed.

I’ll admit like you mentioned. It wasn’t the most creative fantasy but it had major relevancy and reason.

Sure, if you bring the weed I’ll bring the cooch. You’re paying for the room and the weed. No, you won’t have to pay for the sex; I’d be happy to help you get that revenge fuck. Plus, I want to have dinner in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. So, rent the room, big the bag, have your Amex ready and then its time to play.

Find me on facebook or myspace. I’m the only Virginia Langley on both.

The fact that a hump like you would want me to buy Ishtar is almost as fucking funny as the picture with you and the pigs doing your shtick about the swine flu.

Ishtar. Are you so into pleasing the Jews to break into comedy that you’d actually pimp that movie?

Oy: you are a schmuckala.

Out of my 12 years in teaching in a very affluent so. orange county school there are so many blossoming honey’s that I’ve seen come and go. These last 4 years its been a bastion of mid riffs and low cut off’s and french tip nails $150 bottle perfumes and highlights . Any 1XTeen year old senior of mine could easily pass as a 21 year old.

I guess when it comes down to it Miss Langley, its that I’ve always wanted one of my good looking female students to bump into me five years after their high school graduation or so and seduce me to go up to my girlfriends apartment and have sex on her bed.

Sounds mischevious…well not so fast. As you say, my girlfriend who has a rock on her left ring finger that put me out 4 months salary has just told me she just fucked an old boyfriend in my bed! Uggghhhh. I haven’t had the balls to end it for two reasons. One, I’m a high school math teacher (with probably lower self esteem than most) and two, because you note my small income, I want to swipe the diamond gem off while she’s sleeping and then end it. Haven’t been able to do that yet because she’s a light sleeper and because I still love her.

With that said: whether i stay or go, i still want to have that get even lay. she’s actually encouraged it.

So, my fantasy is to arbitrarily bump into one of my former good looking students who had a crush on me while she was in high school, and then me and her have a go at it on my whore of a fiance’s bed.

Simple and maybe not too creative, but oh so truthful.

What is your greatest sexual fantasy. Be creative but not too out there. I want to see something with some thought, but sincerity. Then we’ll see about you fucking me while listening to Floyd. I’m sorry that you make less money than me, but you’ll have to buy the weed and pay for the room if i accept. I’m talking about something in Bev. Hills like the Hilton or some such.

Now’s your chance big boy. Spill out that sex fantasy and lets see if you’ll be bringing the bag while my ass is up in the air waiting for your cock. Don’t get nervous now, Waldo.

Pink’s Floyd, you need not be teaching those young kids.

1) Get high and listen to Pink Floyd

-and-

2) Fuck Virginia Langley while I’m high and listening to Pink Floyd.

Virginia, if your fantasy is to fuck a CIA director, as you mentioned in the “fail” post below, I wanted to let you know that I’m a high school math teacher and I live in southern cal. So, I kind of work for the government and I get to mold young minds. So I’m in a local state government body and I work on minds, when I’m not stoned. Actually one time I did teach stoned. The kids loved it.