We all have douche-cunts and douche-cocks that we have to put up with in corporate America.

You know what I do when I hate the company that I work for?

I do little picayune shit that hurts the company and I devilishly grin about my little childish antics. Yes, it’s immature and I know this doesn’t your problem profile of one cunt fucking up your day. But, what I like to do is intentionally piss on toilet seats and the floor of said company. You can only do this in a medium to larger size corporate company, in which i work. My problem is me vs. the company. So, this little shit works to keep from pulling a postal.

In your case, I really don’t know how to play it. Sneeze, wipe a bugger, take some of your fecal matter (after wiping), poor coffee, on her desk or chair.

For the chair, I find that it’s good to saturate a paper towel to under 100% capacity so it doesn’t leak on the floor to her desk. Take the paper towel and just wet the seat.

You win two ways: 1) if she sits on it, she’ll hate that you literally got her fucking panty’s wet without whispering sweet nothings into her fucking cunt of an ear; and 2) if she does notice it, she will be annoyed and preemptively try to dry it or have to exert her energy to get her fat piggly-wiggly ass moving to find a drier seat.

Just like a Skinnerian Pigeon she might get the hint that everytime she opens her fucking fat cunt of mouth to bitch n’ moan she’ll get a little taste of negative reinforcement or punishment for the mental pain she inflicts on her co-workers with that shriveling middle age cunt of a voice that shrills through the office.

Next step: we get you a Samir and Michael Bolton to fuck that bitch up.

And no, NIGGA, i ain’t fuckin’ that annoyin’ ho. shut the bitch up yourself. See directions up above.