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Last night I was competing in the Rooster T. Feathers comedy competition in Sunnyvale. Go if you can. The club is old school (reminded me of Hollywood’s Comedy Store) — warm, pro, and one of the friendliest I’ve seen.

While waiting for the show to start, I saw Larry “Bubbles” Brown walking around — hilarious, been on Letterman, etc. I overheard somebody say he was headlining.

Later, a friend asked me who was headlining, so I said, “Larry Bubbles Brown.”

“No, I am headlining,” said a man next to me. I looked at him, but didn’t recognize him. I later found out he was Dan St. Paul — Comedy Central, MTV, opened for Seinfeld, did a movie with Robin Williams….

But I didn’t know this. So of course, being an idiot, I said:

……..“And who are you?”

He belly laughed and grimaced painfully.

Because I am an idiot.

Let this be a lesson.

The Skywalkers are the trashiest family in the galaxy.

Available here.

1. my nickname in elementary school was ‘witchiepoo’.

2. i’ve run 3 marathons; during my 2nd on the streets of l.a., two native americans blew past me barefoot at the 13th mile

3. my father is a physician at a state hospital for the criminally insane. 

4. i performed magic shows at kids’ birthday parties as a teenager and dreamed of being the next doug henning, complete with 70s rainbow outfit.

5. three of the women i’ve dated are now lesbians.

6. a shaman once told me i have a knife sticking out of my back where i was stabbed in a previous life.

7. i have a 2nd degree black belt in uechi-ryu okinawan karate (we have crane moves, just like mr. miyagi!) and i broke two of my ribs fighting in full contact bare knuckle bouts.

8. i’m a conspiracy theory addict.

9. part of my family is from vik, a settlement in southwestern norway where many vikings originated, and my DNA markers indicate viking blood.

10. i proposed to my wife on the steps of the church where dante first spied beatrice in florence, italy.

11. i have a fetish for found action figures that have been marred or damaged, missing limbs, etc.

12. i was a computer hacker as a teen, and almost got busted by a federal agency; several friends wound up in jail.

13. i’ve had out of body experiences while awake & sober.

14. i’d love to live in a barn.

15. i was a performance artist in l.a. during the 90s, and once almost electrocuted myself with butter and 2 AC electrodes.

16. my brother and i used to dress up like batman and robin, make gasoline bombs out of coke cans, and throw razor-sharp ninja stars in our fresno backyard. we also had the hots at daycare for identical blonde sisters we called “the butter twins.”

17. i’ve been taking french lessons weekly for the past 4 years and my accent still sucks.

18. i’ve seen the movie ishtar more times than any other movie.

19. once while walking around in my motorcycle armor at the union street fair, i accidentally bumped sf mayor gavin newsom with my padded shoulder — he stumbled back 3 feet, and his wife Jennifer Siebel laughed.

20. i like listening to crunchy/cut-up electronica or anything crazy that sounds homemade — aphex twin, blevin blectum, wesley willis….

21. i’ve seen every episode of the dukes of hazzard, the greatest american hero, and twin peaks.

22. i heart david lynch, harmony korine, and woody allen.

23. if i had to read only one writer, it would be charles bukowski.

24. my granny hacked the heads off of chickens with a hatchet on her farm in nebraska.

25. i’m a vegetarian.

What are 25 random things about you?

Made from one Sharpie Ultra Fine Point permanent marker in black, my left arm (fist still attached), one whoopsy I lost count of the tequila shotz, and three unforgettable minutes.